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Observations from Participants Note: All names have been changed to protect anonymity. Survivor Comments: "I've never had this much relief and peace of mind and the past criticisms that would go around in my head... are gone. It has given me insight". Anna commented that it had become clear that her abusers were conscious of their abuse, had control over their actions and, yet, chose to abuse her. Her abusers had convinced her that she caused the abuse and that they did not have control over their behavior. Consequently, she developed the hope that if she changed her behavior, the abuse would stop. Now, she said that she understands that an abuser can have knowledge of and control over what they are doing and its consequences, yet feel no remorse. Rebecca explained that the dialogue slightly exceeded her expectations. She was surprised with her own performance. She assumed she would be combative, but found it "neat" to be able to talk frankly with an abuser, especially one that was so honest about his actions. Georgia stated that she was pleased that during the dialogue, she was able to give voice to Dean's wife and felt that she indirectly helped her. Rebecca "appreciated Henry's honesty" and concluded it must have been difficult for him to enter into a situation not knowing how she would respond to him. Offender Comments: An offender who participated in a DVSD stated he was surprised that the abuse from two years earlier described by the survivor during the dialogue from two years earlier seemed so "fresh". It forced him to look at the "path of destruction" that his actions created in his victims' lives and commented, "That's very humbling". Brad commented that if he had just heard her story, it would not have meant that much to him. Seeing Anna in person allowed him to recognize and appreciate the courage that it took for her to participate and to continue with her recovery. When Henry was asked if he would participate in the dialogue again, he said "Definitely... I've got a lot of wrongs to right." He further stated that it felt good to be able to give back and perform restitution for his past acts. Dean realized that Georgia's words were an echo of his wife's words that he had ignored. On the positive side, he said that he finally heard Georgia. |
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